My in-laws are taking over our house!?

You did not disrespect your husbands parents, they disrespected you. Giving them the benefit of the doubt maybe they thought you would not be coming back to your house but still they should have asked if you cared if they changed the decor etc. If they decide not to come back to Tampa I don't think you have lost anything and I am willing to bet that they are just trying to bully you into letting them do what ever they want. You should tell your husband that if he thinks you are so wrong maybe he should just go back to mommy and daddy and they can take care of him. He is being unreasonable. After all you are his wife. It should be about the two of you and what you want, not about what his parents want. By the way I am68 years old and can't imagine treating my children or their spouses this way.