My Mommy and her Boyfriend Broke up Again!!!!?

This is getting ridiculous! My Mommy and her Boyfriend recently got back together, and now they split up again. This time the split up was a nasty one. I don't know all the gruesome details, because Mommy has been locked in her bedroom for the last three hours. When I arrived home, I heard Mommy saying, "git!" Her boyfriend mumbled something, and she called him a "pathetic, shiftless, worthless, limped d*ck loser!" Well, the next thing I know, Mommy's boyfriend ran in the bathroom, grabbed a douche and was gagging Mommy with it. I jumped on his back, and he elbowed me across my face, knocking off my gles. So, I grabbed Mommy's new vase from the dollar store. Well, she didn't want me to break it over his head. She said, "No Buddy, no Buddy, not Mommy's new vase." So, I grabbed the next best thing, Mommy's hot batch of hamburger helper and dumped it on him. He then, grabbed me by my rattail and slammed me against the wall. Mommy was threatening to call the police and he finally left.